Where I am

I am 30 and some months. I am unmarried, un-partnered, un-mortgaged, without child. I am living back with my parents. I own very little of anything. I am dealing with my anxieties – of being unmarried, un-partnered, un-mortgaged, without child. of living back with my parents. of owning very little of anything. But, I am […]

It’s Been Two Years: How I Found My Words

Recently, WordPress reminded me that it’s been two years since I started She’s A Seeker. This was my first ever post. I remember how terrified I was pressing ‘Publish’. In that time, I’ve quit jobs, been broke, got another job, had my heart broken, moved cities and in with my parents, become a dog mumma, […]

My Fears

Recently my fears were running rampant. I tried fending them off but this only seemed to make them more feral. So, I decided I would just invite them in, and allow them to be heard. And I listened. I fear that: maybe the reason why I have no idea what I’m doing is because I […]

Does It Have To End?

When I committed, I gave myself a year. To have my adventure, to sort my shit out, to realise my ideas, be my true self once and for all, to discover my life’s work and start creating it. Then, I would return to Australia to continue it on home soil, never having to go back […]

In My Darkness

It was for about three years that I truly experienced my darkness. I grew accustomed to it, that even in my physical world I’d keep my house dimly lit, preferring the blinds drawn, the light too offensive. I feared my darkness but I also loved it, making for a volatile relationship. It kept me company, […]

After He Leaves, What’s Left?

When it happened, my friends, even his parents, they asked me, how? How could he have loved you so? They saw it, the mutual respect, the admiration, the happiness. How could he have done so much, said all those things? They heard it, said with such resolute. When? When did it all dissipate? When did […]

When I Was Rescued

You didn’t have to. You could have watched me stay, because I believed I had to. Watched me struggle, because I felt I had no choice. Watched me stop dreaming, because I had stopped believing. You could have watched until the fire in my eyes dimmed, starved of all hope, trust, belief. But, you didn’t, because you knew – it’s the fire, which makes me, keeps me, […]

When I Was More Than Enough

I’ve officially marked two weeks of my sabbatical. Initially, I felt as though I spent most of the days thinking a lot and doing very little. I said I was in the ‘ideation’ phase so thinking was part of the process. But then I thought, and thought and overthought and then started overthinking about how much I was […]

When She Looked

She saw the universe, in her own eyes.

Fears of Fear Itself

I began last week in a perpetual state of fear. I was paralysed by it. The more I fought to shake it off, the more it began to consume me. Fear is one hell of a gluttonous beast. My rescue, as it has so often before, arrived through my words. It began with hesitant, shaky scribbles but soon enough the strength returned to […]