My Fears

Recently my fears were running rampant. I tried fending them off but this only seemed to make them more feral. So, I decided I would just invite them in, and allow them to be heard.

And I listened.

I fear that:

  • maybe the reason why I have no idea what I’m doing is because I actually have no idea what I’m doing.
  • I’ll run out of money.
  • I won’t find any way of making money.
  • I won’t find any answers.
  • This was all a terrible idea.
  • I’m not capable of making my dreams a reality.
  • My dreams are unrealistic.
  • I’m all talk and no convinction.
  • I’m not smart nor creative enough.
  • I’m lacking in discipline, talent and ability.
  • I’ll just embarrass myself.
  • When I go back home to Australia, I’ll fall back into letting my fears make my decisions and become even unhappier than when I left in the first place.
  • Even while I’m here, I’ll succumb to all these fears, achieve nothing, give up and go home.

As I allowed each of my fears to speak, they no longer intimidated me. Instead, I felt empathy because I understood them. They are all pretty legitimate, considering I’ve left security behind to solely follow this gut feeling of mine. It’s risky, some might even say incredibly stupid and reckless.

But, I reassured my fears once again to trust the process. I reminded them that on our side, we also have self awareness, hope, faith and courage.

To my fears, I have made a promise. I will always make time to listen, even if they scare the shit out of me.

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95 thoughts on “My Fears

  1. It takes courage to listen to one’s fears. And it takes wisdom to befriend them. Once befriended, transmuted. Such a brave soul; keep living sis. You’ve already arrived. Just keep arriving. :-*

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Such gorgeous words, thank you hun! Has anyone ever told you, that you have this amazing energy? I can’t explain it, but there’s something incredibly magic about you, I can feel it from all the way in Nepal! Keep doing you, thank you for being here xx

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  2. This has been very helpful to me – your entire journey is. I’m also in a similar stage in my life right now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fears are always there in the back of my mind(I guess everyone’s mind). Thank you for sharing this.This write up leaves something to think about. Now i’ll try to listen to my fears instead of avoiding them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Recently I’ve been meeting with this idea that maybe my doubts and my fears are actually my biggest advocates. It’s not easy, quite terrifying actually, but I would certainly encourage everyone to listen. For me, it’s been worth it. I hope you’ve been keeping well, take care.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree with you, I think it’s important to listen to what our fears have to say, that way we can know what we’re up against and can find ways to overcome them. Sometimes in order to beat our fears, we first have to understand what they are. We need to listen to ourselves and find out where our fears are coming from, and your post helped me realize this. I love your post! I know it’s difficult to follow our dreams, but this is how we live life; we have to go with our gut feelings and see where they take us. It’s okay to take risks; it’s all apart of living and learning. By the way, I think you’re doing an awesome job and I believe in you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kaitlyn, for your thoughtful contribution and for your support. Absolutely, I’m realising that if I turn away from what scares me, I’m just walking away from myself. My fears are me, so are my doubts. I must sit together with them at the table, and hold a respectful conversation. It’s only then that I will begin to understand myself whole. Thank you for taking the time out to offer such kind words. You write beautifully.
      Take care, and I wish you all the very best on your journey too xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m finding that all the self help stuff out there works mostly in setting goals and attaining them in increments. Either through manifestation philosophy or Grit. But I am toying with a different approach a prevail process that I am finding very few people writing about.

    Before you focus on what you want to be doing and achieving and reaping how about decide how you want to feel everyday. To find true content meant in your life do you want to feel physically fit and well exercised by your job or do you want to expend creative energy all day or do you want to feel the joy of caregiving? What physical and emotional states do you want to be in predominantly throughout your day?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your words have really resonated with me and I’m going to take this one board to discuss with myself. How do I want to feel? I want to feel exercised by my job, while exerting creating energy. I want to also be able to see the impact of my service.

      I will definitely be working to expand on this further. Thank you, this is just so profound and it has made me think very differently. Brilliant. I really appreciate you sharing this it with me. Thank you again. Take care.

      Like

      1. I reread my comment and it was full of typos. Sorry about that. Thanks for unpacking it despite the autocorrect nonsense. I’m planning to really develop this idea into a webinar series. But my business model will be “give it away…..” I won’t follow up with pay me to learn more. I just want to organize the idea for people that it is okay not to strive for fame and fortune, it in fact counterintuitive to what we all really want which is the imagined result of success: peace, rest and security in knowing you are your best self. As I work on it I’ll keep your response in mind as morale boosting. And good for you for wanting to feel exercised and fatigued physically, for knowing you find joy in creative work. My bff and I were discussing this concept yesterday and she said as much. Now we are trying to find her a plan to feel that way everyday.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. To be honest, I did not even notice, and it seems even I threw in a mistake here and there! haha, it’s good we get each other! I think your motivation, your intention behind the service you want to offer the world, is beautiful and something we all could do with.

        Keep me in the loop, I look forward to seeing to how your ideas and in turn your business unfolds. Good luck, I have no doubt that you will just do great! xx

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  6. “Never be fearful of fear itself” -My mentor once told me.

    Fears keep us safe, they prevent us from doing dangerous things. And thats where its use ends.

    Yet we fear the feeling itself. Why? Perhaps we lose sight.

    Thank you for this beautifully insightful post. The little I got to know you through your writing, I can already see many of those fears are untrue. Good luck in your journey, and may you find yourself among the answers you seek!

    Warm regards,
    Havoc

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, and thank you for being a part of my journey. I appreciate your kindness, at times I’m so overwhelmed by the support I have received on this platform. I’m still trying to work out why I fear fear itself.

      There’s a great exercise I’m working through by Tim Ferris, where instead of setting goals, he encourages us to set out fears. This fear setting has already made things clearer and allowed me to better understand my fears, rather than fearing them.

      Here it is if you’d like to check it out 🙂

      Take care Havoc. Thank you again.

      Shruti

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You are very wise – there is always something that we can learn from listening to our fears. If we ignore them, they shout even louder to be heard and cause us more stress. By listening to them, we understand ourselves just that little bit better. I find that my fears can be similar to yours – worrying if I am going the right way or if I’m strong enough continue with change. But even by thinking about changing our paths, this shows that we do have the willingness and the courage within us… we’ve just got to keep following it 😄

    – Shelby 🌻💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Shelby. I find it so interesting how our fears, something we think is so subjective and personal, can actually be a shared feeling amongst others.

      Our fears are real of course, yet as Seneca wrote, “we suffer more in our imagination than in our reality.”

      When the community here shares their stories and insight with me, that’s when I realise, while we certainly suffer, we do not have to do it alone.

      Thank you so much for your supportive, kind words. I look forward to following your journey. I wish you the very best.

      Shruti xx

      Like

    1. You’re so welcome. Keep working on it darling. It has taken me 10 years to finally leap, to better befriend my fears and it’s an ongoing thing I have to work on. You’ve got this, take care xx

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  8. I really respect how open you are about them. I share many of the same fears too. You might be interested in English teaching overseas (I currently do it in China), well paid, rewarding work that gives you plenty of spare time to work on yourself, your dreams and go travelling. Its been a great life choice for me. Having some of the fears you have, I thought you might be interested 😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi David,

      Thank you. It’s so beautiful how the universe works. I made a friend here during my travels from China and I was just speaking to her about teaching english. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do while travelling.

      Looks like you’re having a really wonderful journey. I look forward to following it. I’ll definitely reach out to you if mine takes me your way to teach!

      Thank you David! Take care.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh that’s great to know! Two people recommending it for you, haha. If you don’t want the 9-5 kind of life back home, I strongly suggest looking into. Such a great opportunity! Looking forward to reading your journey too.

        Like

      2. I know right, the universe is making its intentions pretty well known. I’ll definitely look into it. It’s awesome to hear how much you enjoy it! My friends that have done it also speak highly of the experience. Cheers David

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m starting to see my fears as a part of me, so when I invite them in to sit at the table, I’m allowing myself to converse with what resides within me 🙂

      Like

    1. You know Willie, I don’t really know what I’m going to do next. I have a vision for my future, and my work that I can see so clearly but at the moment I am taking the steps in between to reach that destination. I just try and focus on today rather than the steps following. I continue to travel, write, photograph, connect with others, read, learning so much along the way. What happens next is anyone’s guess! 🙂

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      1. Then may i suggest you are not fearful. You are a free spirited person doing what you are passionate about …..you are an artist …..painting your own story …your own life …as you please. Infact fear is in ME. A life of familiarity and routinity.

        If i had no fear … I would perhaps do as what you are doing. Cheers.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you Willie! Incredibly kind, empowering words, I really appreciate it. There are so many variables that hold us back, responsibilities, family, jobs, all valid reasoning that can prevents us from taking our own leap. Sometimes we can do so much, without ever having to leap. You, just offering your honest, kind words from another part of the world to a stranger, has made a profound impact in my journey.
        You are more than you give yourself credit. Thank you again, I wish you all the very best.

        Shruti.

        Like

  9. At times we foolishly expect the world to adapt to us when all we need is to adapt to the ever changing world and change with it. You say it right, trust the process, let it be, let it go. 🙂

    Like

  10. With Faith you can overcome it , love by Faith not be sight , you ‘ll see great result even in the middle of unknown. keep going , till you’ll realize time to do some major change. Trust to unseen God , you’ll see the seen things differently 🙂
    see you soon in OZ land . enjoy life

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  11. I appreciate how honest you are about fears that you are focusing on conquering. It is impossible to overcome something if you won’t face the thought that it is there in the first place. We all worry sometimes, I am very new to blogging, I have always adored writing, but it took me time to get the confidence to begin to share my writing with others. So I can relate about worrying what could happen, but it’s always better to take the risk I think. Safe travels, I will continue to follow your writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jess, such kind, honest words. It seems this fear, this resistance is something so many of us experience. You should be so proud, that despite it all, you continue pushing through, You write because you are a writer! It is in your perseverance to practice your art, that further inspires me to do the same. Keep going darling, you’re doing so great! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Befriending fears, that’s such a beautiful way of seeing something that shakes us right down to our core. It’s really well written and makes me want to try what you did the next time anything scares me.

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    1. Thank you Rushi, I definitely encourage it.

      Also if you’d like, check out this exercise of Fear Setting by Tim Ferriss. It’s something that I’m currently working on.

      Shruti xx

      Like

  13. Fear is healthy and its what keeps us alive. If we weren’t afraid of something then we would have to ask a whole lot of questions. Don’t let your fears become something that consumes you though.

    Like

  14. Ow wow. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a Like to my words. Now I come to read your words and I find a second post of yours that hits the spot matching my own searching and feeling for a place of security. I take courage from your self-inspection, listening, and gentleness. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Happy you liked my post. As far as your fears noted above, I’m reminded of something said by some American football coach– not my first guess for a spiritual teacher– who said “Success is not permanent and failure is not fatal.” Of course, he was a football coach and not a skydiving instructor… but you get the idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Although we are the only ones who can keep our fears at bay, may I suggest Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Big Magic” for an inspirational read? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s so wonderful to hear Slava, power to you! It can be so overwhelming when all your fears pour out at once, but pushing through and listening is so worth while at the end don’t you think?

      Like

    1. Thank you Lane, that’s lovely of you to say. I guess it’s all relative isn’t it. I, at times, find myself wondering why I didn’t come to these realisations much earlier in my life. I guess when we arrive, we have be to grateful that we did. Take care of yourself, thank you again for the support.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. As long as you have your words to work with, your fears have nowhere to hide. And as long as you continue using your words, you’ll lead yourself into a life where you prove you’re capable of making your dreams a reality. Just remember, “If they can/could do it, so can you!”

    Liked by 1 person

  18. It is interesting to deal with fears. The same with dreams. But the process of reaching dreams and losing fears is much more interesting, haha.
    I’ve started to reach my dreams and goals and it made my life more colorful. You also can deal with this, not just admit, but reach. 😉 Thanks for writing your posts.

    Like

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