When I Just Loved

I’ve always loved taking photos and making videos. My dad is into photography and I happened to catch his love for it. I had this incessant need to capture every moment, to almost remind myself that I was in fact alive. Like the time we were 14. We went ute surfin’ in our pjs. J drove the Hilux through her farm and we got bogged, knee deep in mud. There’s the shaky footage of when we decided to ride on top of a jeep through the sand covered highways of the Great Thar Desert, India, clocking up to 90kms/h. And when we dressed up as Disco Stu for athletics carnival completely ignoring the theme. Oh, and the time my best friend had her first kiss. We were in year 10, it was new year’s eve. My parents had taken us on a little getaway and we’d managed to slip away. He was a surfer who turned out to be a model. We only discovered the latter when we’d started back at school and found a school book she’d laminated before our trip with his broody, surfy model face. It was a highlight. think I took a photo of her reaction. We both had braces back then.

This collation of precious memories continued until I was about 22, when I started to feel something strange. Something I had honestly never felt before. I was scared, really fucking scared. Terrified that I wasn’t good enough, that I had no idea what I was doing, and I was sure that I would never be able to make a living off of taking photos. So what was the point?! When this fear entered my life it took so many precious memories along with it. For years I hardly shot any photos. For years I felt disconnected from my life.

Last year at the age of 28, having befriended my fears (somewhat), I bought my very own camera. I was ready to revisit my old love. To rediscover it in its absolute purity and to start capturing my beautiful life. Albeit slowly, but surely.

Since then, I feel free, in doing something that I realise never needed any explanation, other than- I just love it.

I haven’t shared a lot, wanting to first reacquaint just on my own. Here are some moments of a recent trip I made down to Victoria to visit my best friend M. Yes, the same best friend aforementioned.

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Great Ocean Road
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The Twelve Apostles
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Cafe Stop @Otway Nourished
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The Redwoods
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75 thoughts on “When I Just Loved

  1. …*whispers*…wow. i can relate so much to your experiences only my passion is writing. your post sparkled like a glimmer of hope to me, thank you for sharing your journey with us ✨ ps: your photography is absolutely without a doubt, stunning beyond words 😭. can’t wait to see more soon, hopefully in the near future? i wish you all the very best with your passion~

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  2. I just wanted to let you know that I have nominated your beautiful blog for the Versatile Blogger Award. The post is scheduled for tomorrow!

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  3. Great photos and thanks for sharing your story. I think all of us have a time when we go through seasons as you’ve mentioned above. We’re all in it together! Thanks for sharing the wonderful photography.

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    1. Thank you Amy, what a kind comment. We absolutely are in it together. Ever since I’ve started sharing, I’ve realised that we are certainly not alone. Thank you for reinforcing this further, I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I got my first camera at 10 and have been slowly gaining in confidence with it. Great photos. Cape Town is my favorite city on Earth

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    1. Ah yes, I’ll always remember my very first camera that I got to play with. It was my dad’s, Olympus film. Funny how, now when I went to purchase my first official camera, I chose an Olympus. I hope you keep taking photos 🙂

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  5. Wonderful photos, makes me think about how many people pack away their passion or talents. It’s great to read about someone that unpacks their passion or talent (if that makes sense).

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    1. Absolutely, that’s makes a whole lot of sense. Thank you, I’m still learning how to allow myself the freedom of play. It’s seems so simple yet at times so hard. Slowly but surely, the freedom is returning to me 🙂

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  6. Ok 1) you’re an amazing photographer and 2) you are an amazing person for befriending your fears. We are oftentimes our worst enemies, so I am so proud of you for telling your negativity to take a hike so you could pursue something you love 🙂 Get it girl!!

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  7. Hi, I was reading a lot of posts from your blog and could relate a lot with all that you shared. I would like to get to know you better. Would you be interested in chatting on facebook?

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  8. Your photos are wonderful ♡ As for those debilitating thoughts on if you’re ever going to make a living of it or be “successful” (whatever that means), I think that being able to do what you love, growing and developing your abilities and sharing them with others should bring enough contentment and fulfillment to your heart. If it works out – amazing, if not – you can always earn money in other ways. Money or no money, it should never diminish your worth as an artist x

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    1. Thank you for your wonderful insight and your kind words. I absolutely agree with you in every aspect. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to compartmentalise my job vs my vocation, my photography, my words. They need not meet at any point and I’m okay with that. I feel nourished. I no longer feel like a starving artist so to speak. You’re amazing thank you x

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  9. I am OBSESSED with the entire aesthetic of your blog. Your photography is breathtaking and you have a beautiful way with your words. I feel extremely inspired! xx -Hannah

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  10. Once again I find expression in your words that resonate in me. I sold my beloved dSLR 6/7 years ago when I needed the cash to pay rent and pretty much abandoned photography with the departure of my camera. More and more I realise just how much I miss it and intend to resume my love for taking photographs once I’ve got myself a decent camera! x

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    1. It calls you, it seeks you, as much as you seek it. When I reacquainted, at first I felt like we were strangers, my camera and I. It didn’t feel as natural as it once did. I had to make an effort and rebuild a relationship. Now, it’s not perfect, but we’re both willing to work on it. When you’re ready, I’d love to see what you capture x

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    1. Thank you Deepika, that is so thoughtful of you to say that. When sharing isn’t always easy, it’s kind souls such as yourself, that make the experience brighter. I really appreciate it x

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      1. You’re most welcome 🙂 It feels great to encourage someone 🙂 You have a style of stringing words together which impressed me a lot 🙂 Keep up the good work and keep smiling! 🙂

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  11. When you answer your heart the whole world sings. You are giving birth to your creative spirit and as it grows your abilities will expand. Never fear the spirit inside. Your talents are fabulous and you are a beautiful woman opening the eyes of those who could not see. Thank you.

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  12. Hey there,

    Thanks for visiting and liking what I write at my website. You have a fascinating website too. I guess it is at a formative stage but it is very well designed. Do take care, peace and stay safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Thank you for reading and liking my blog! I’ve been browsing around yours for awhile and I’m impressed and moved by what I see here. Keep doing what you love, nothing but good can come of it 🙂

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