When I Didn’t Want To Be Rescued

I’ve started plenty of things that I never finished. I’ve quit jobs. I’ve prematurely shared my grandiose ideas with others, because it sounded better than “I actually have no idea.” I’ve made decisions quickly and changed my mind at double the speed. I would see others who stayed – in jobs, in relationships, in cities. […]

Where I am

I am 30 and some months. I am unmarried, un-partnered, un-mortgaged, without child. I am living back with my parents. I own very little of anything. I am dealing with my anxieties – of being unmarried, un-partnered, un-mortgaged, without child. of living back with my parents. of owning very little of anything. But, I am […]

What I Carry

As I’ve written before, I owe so much to my heartbreak. It was the shakeup I needed to makeup with my Self. But now, after all has settled, I can see the aftermath. My heartbreak has left me with baggage, at least a little carry on suitcase. I don’t trust so easy. H was kind, […]

So, She Let Go

She did not beg. She did not grovel. She would not ask to be loved. – so, she let go.

Who I Am Today

In order to provide any insight on who I am today, I need to pay homage to who I was, and who I had become. I was – a happy kid, a dreamer, curious, fidgety, dramatic, creative, engaged, fearless, loving and oh so loved. I had dreams, big dreams. I wanted to spread positivity, create […]

In My Darkness

It was for about three years that I truly experienced my darkness. I grew accustomed to it, that even in my physical world I’d keep my house dimly lit, preferring the blinds drawn, the light too offensive. I feared my darkness but I also loved it, making for a volatile relationship. It kept me company, […]

When I Said Yes

You’d visit me, in my sleep, and even when I woke, like a knight to the rescue. You would ask me the same question, and I would reply with the same answer, “no”. I would tell you I wasn’t ready, I didn’t believe in me. I was just terrified, convinced I couldn’t live up to […]

Dear, Life I Did Not Live

I can’t tell you exactly when I started to stray. Maybe it was when I chose an academic career rather than a creative one. I thought it was more realistic, would bring me more success, financial reward. I thought, I had no choice. While I carried on living this life, the other moved at parallel […]

Where I Found It All

I wanted to do what made me happy. I wanted to be paid for it in abundance. And, I wanted to be loved, oh so loved. I wanted it all, but instead I found myself earning a wage, hating what I did, and unhappy. And, I found myself not feeling loved, even when my loved ones […]

When I Asked For Space

We weren’t getting along too well. We had changed. We were no longer what we knew, what we loved, what we had grown comfortable with. We were not growing together, we were growing apart. Frantically, we fought to repair the rift – after all we’d been together our whole lives. As our attempts became desperate, our measures even more so. […]