You’d visit me, in my sleep, and even when I woke, like a knight to the rescue.
You would ask me the same question, and I would reply with the same answer, “no”. I would tell you I wasn’t ready, I didn’t believe in me. I was just terrified, convinced I couldn’t live up to your expectations.
For a while, you continued to visit, each time I would turn you away.
Until eventually, you stopped.
It was then I felt the emptiness you had left behind. It was then I began my search for you.
Although at times difficult, I began to work on me, in the hope that if we were to meet again, I would be ready, as my best self.
The more I did, the more I grew into my own. I became gentle, kind, understanding, accepting, eventually I even learnt love.
Then as it so happens, when I was least expecting, there was a knock at my door. You were just as I remembered, but I was changed, evolved, grown.
You asked me the same question you did those many years ago, “are you ready to answer to your calling?”.
This time, for the first time, I answered “yes”.
photograph — after the rains, suburbia Kathmandu.