When I Used To Be

Far too often I find myself saying, “when I was younger, I used to be a runner, singer, writer, performer, creator.” I used to be. I used to be.

Yes, I used to just be. So freely, without hesitation.

But you know what, that was a long time ago now. I’m not that carefree child anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. Often I’d wish I still was, but I’m not. I feel pressure, I feel responsibility, and anxiety has made home within my being.

While my spirit remains the same, my mind, my body, my life has changed. And today, I’m telling myself that it’s okay.

I am no longer a child, I am a woman. A woman who perseveres through pressure, a woman who takes responsibility, a woman who has befriended her anxiety. A woman who will always remember her inner child with great pride and fondness.

Today, I am a woman who is letting go of her used to bes, and accepting her, I ams.


30 thoughts on “When I Used To Be

    1. I agree Miriam. I certainly don’t want to lose her spirit, but now want to take that spirit forward with me as I continue discovering who I am now. The journey to acceptance is winding 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I read these lines and just asked myself what is the difference between to accept what I’am or accept or allow yourself to be?

    Wouldn’t be to be then be the selfs or I’ams of the past? Haven’t they all come together in the now? isn’t maybe that why your asking.
    And your not only a woman, you’re also a human and part of the universe 😀

    Just some thoughts coming up.

    Breath deep, Namaste


    1. I agree that they have all come together in the now and I am indeed a part of our beautiful universe. Such interesting thoughts, thank you so much for sharing. It’s definitely got me thinking! Namaste 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post! I can totally relate to it. Right from our education system to our society, everything is filled with the perfect ideal being that we all should be. And in dealing with it, we tend to lose touch with that playful and innocent child inside.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At first, I thought I was feeling quite defeated by it all. But certainly, you’re right, I was and am simply experiencing the beautiful (thought at times all consuming) transition to becoming a woman. There is a great pride in that. I really appreciate your perspective, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey great article! I would like to seek advice from you. How do you manage to connect to so many bloggers from all over? I am new to the blogging field and thought some advice can prove helpful on the go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Neha and welcome! Honestly, I’m not too sure how it’s happened. I try to focus solely on my words. I write because I need to and I engage with fellow souls who inspire and move me. I used to fear my words, my truths, and now, it’s through my words that I’ve started to realise them. I created this space as a commitment that I would write to myself, for myself. The support, the kindness, the encouragement, the inspiration has been a blessed bonus, and one that I am incredibly grateful for. Just do you and engage with others who inspire you x

      Liked by 1 person

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