I loved how we looked together. How confident I felt. How people reacted to us. As if we were someone, something important.
I had grown dependant.
When I was without, I felt empty and insecure. As if I were no one, nothing important.
So time and again, I would return back, to gluttonously indulge in its filtered glory.
For years, I didn’t even realise the hold it hard over me.
It was an affliction, infesting my body, mind, and spirit. Muddling my healthy beliefs with those that were negative and limiting. Towards the last stage of its invasion, its destruction became hard to ignore – I had survived, but I was no longer thriving.
I had to quit.
It wasn’t easy. It’s not easy.
I fight the temptation still.
But now, I am determined to thrive.
So, I’m learning to let go, to learn me unfiltered, to be without it.
Without my God damn ego.